Progress video!

So two weeks ago Badass filmed me at my first training with the fresh meat. Well, it was just before the training so the progress you see in this vid compared to the previous one is only due to normal rehabilitation exercise (no skating) and this floor being quite a lot less grippy than the one in the previous vid.

So that was two weeks ago. I could glide a bit on each leg, but couldn't adjust my direction at all whilst gliding on my left foot (which used to be my strongest). The neurological damage in that leg has been there since February while the right leg didn't get damaged until late April. So it will take longer to heal and it now results in the control in that leg being much worse than it was before.

Do you remember being a freshmeat and gliding on one foot, trying to make the corner, but your skate just having a mind of it's own? That's what it felt like. I couldn't get any movement in my foot to adjust the weight on the skate to make it turn.

Today however, I suddenly could do it! Ok, not as tight a corner as on my right foot, but I could feel the pressure under my foot adjusting against the sole of my boot to adjust the direction and I had relatively good control over it. Yay!

In skating backwards I even managed some cross overs. My legs just remembered the motions and I did it! That feeling is so amazing after an injury like mine. Because that feeling is exactly what you start to distrust. The feeling of knowing how to do something, feeling that your brain is giving off the impulses to your muscles to do it, but your legs (as if they aren't your own) just wont do it. But now they did! And then getting the sensory input in your brain saying "yep, all is under control, doing what you want them to do *thumbs up*" is like a drug. It makes me want to do it again and again and again. Look Mom! I'm doing it! Well, I do actually sometimes scream out to the others: "look look look!" And then I look overly happy like a child on christmas morning.

Endorphines, contagious?

Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder if endorphin highs are contagious. Tonight I led an amazing training. The intensity was high, the girls were focussed and improving by the minute and by the end ready to never get up again and drenched in sweat. Everything just worked. The chemistry clicked for everyone.

So why did I leave on a high? I didn't physically do anything more than stand in the middle, talk, sometimes scream and take on derby stance a few times. Well, ok, I jammed on shoes a few times, but not in an actual jam, just in a drill to help out. Just some pushing into a wall of strong women. Didn't even sweat. Well.. didn't get wet of my own sweat at least.

I wonder what brain substance I'm high on.. <3<3<3

So proud of my girls

Yes, MY girls. Oh and guy. Pappa Smurf was there last night and he worked just as hard as any of the girls!

We set goals for the team, both social goals, tactical goals and fitness goals. Last night was the first fitness training of the season so it was time to measure the start values for the fitness goals. To give the girls an endorphin kick I decided to after those tests keep going at high intensity and make them puke.

You know it's getting good when some of the better trained girls start dripping sweat from their noses into a nice little pool while in a plank or another girl sounds like she is about to cry, but keeps going, or when you can make Badass so angry she loves you: "why are YOU doing back raises, you DON'T have shoulder problems! YOU do the push-ups, NOW!"

I more than overshot my personal goals for the session:

1. get their start values registered in an adequate way (thank you Kaiser Geuze, our head NSO).
2. push the skaters to aim for high start values.
3. instill one of my basic principals in all the skaters: never quit, slow down if you have to, but never quit.
4. let the skaters go home feeling proud of themselves (and possibly each other).
5. let the skaters that aren't so training minded experience in what way high intensity training can be nice.

By the time I got home I was being drowned in messages of love and enthusiasm. What I loved most was that I got to see everybody push themselves. Nobody gave up. There are always lazy skaters in any league, but last night none of the girls were lazy. They all worked their pretty asses off! Well done girls!

Thank you Luleå Roller Derby, I love you!

Back to freshmeat

A month ago I wasn't sure I would be able to start skating again, and I haven't tried since then, but in many other activities I can feel that the control and teamwork in my leg muscles (synergy) has improved.  A little over a month ago, I looked like this:

Now I don't know if you've seen me skate before jan '12 but I was doing pretty alright for someone who had just skated one year. Fluid movements, backwards crossovers, pirouettes, jumps it was all fine and I looked and felt confident.

Now that Badass is fresh meat coach I have my hands free to focus on my own progress and try to partake in the fresh meat program. Not sure what I'll do with the fall practices. The surgeon said everything is safe from about now (three months after spine surgery). I'm curious to see if I will pass the minimum skills test just before Christmas. As it is I can't even get up from the floor within three secs without skates, haha!

The birth of a coach?

A year ago I became the one responsible for training at Luleå Roller Derby. My qualifications? Not much:

• Knowledge gathered during a then half completed physiotherapy degree (now almost done). Aside from all the anatomy in relation to movement there was also a PT like course and some motivational courses. 
• A certificate that (in Holland) allowed me to teach sports in primary school + plus some experience of "illegally" teaching sports in high school.  
• 6 months (!?) of derby practice.
• I was willing (and driven) to take the responsibility.

If I'm being honest, it was probably mostly the last point that landed me the position and I have to admit that that willingness has been tried during that first season. I had to catch up fast on how to coach and motivate a group of alpha ladies. Now I know better... it's not ME that is supposed to motivate them. But it took me a full year before I learnt that highly valuable lesson. And now that I've learnt it, I will have to find a way to balance it into my coaching style for the next season. 

Coaching style you say? Oh yes. There are many philosophies out there. Most of them directed at coaching major league football teams in the states. But you know, some of the main principles still apply. Autocratic vs democratic, selling vs sharing etc. And from the jungle of wishy-washies vs straight-shooters I pick the things I like. Not because they suit my personality, but because they will most likely resonate well with the players on our team.

I have made so many mistakes during my first year of being trainer, but luckily I have learnt a lot from them. I will surely make many more mistakes this coming season, but hopefully they will be new mistakes and I'm looking forward to learning from them. 

Out of breath...

It's funny in way... when you get to train at least three times a week, you don't particularly appreciate being out of breath when doing something. At least I didn't used to. I just kept blaming myself for having a bad enough fitness level to even be able to get out of breath. Which of course is completely stupid, because no matter how well your fitness levels are, there is always some intensity of activity that can get you out of breath.

The last few months though, getting out of breath was not as easy. My legs couldn't walk fast enough to get my heart rate above 120. I still don't really have the flexibility in them to take steps that are fast and long enough to get me panting. But now..... I have my new bike!

Carefully chosen from the jungle of bikes that are out there. 1. It lets me sit with a completely straight back in stead of leaning forward (requirement for my back). 2. It has three gears, so I don't have to get all Hulky on the slight slopes we have here (also in regards to my back). 3. It came with an optional luggage carrier at the front (perfect for my training bag, once I start skating again, and looks cool!). 4. It comes with a highly flexible and springy leather saddle (both fashionable and a good shock absorber for my back). 5. It kinda looks like a specific type of Dutch bikes that I really like from home (the "grandma bike"). 6. It wasn't super duper expensive. 7. It looks super duper cool!

So today I went for a short test drive to the store and back and it was awesome! I almost shed a happiness tear. Why? Because while riding this bike I don't feel ANY of the limitations that I do feel in every other activity. My body feels like it is completely healthy, has full range of motion and has full strength! It's the best feeling of freedom ever. The only danger sits in that feeling making me forget that I do actually have these limitations by the time I have to step off the bike. I have to remember to stop and get off carefully. ;)

Now I'm gonna go out and have another go! See ya!

Going insane, need to babble...

So today it's been six weeks since they operated on my back which means that the damage done by the operation will have healed. That also means that I can start lifting and carrying things again. It's weird.. for some stupid reason I kind of expected this day to be a magical one. I expected to suddenly feel all healed and normal again, but of course I don't. Yesterday was a very bad day, but I think today will be back to the normal levels of handicappedness I have been at lately.

I have one more week off and then I actually have to do a full week of internship and my examination patient. Not sure how I'm gonna do that, but we'll see. I'll probably just work and sleep and work and sleep.

After 6 weeks at home not doing anything (well, handed in some school work and coached a few trainings) I am SO ready to lead a normal, active life again. Just wish my body was as ready as I am.

My professors approved my thesis ideas so I got the first go on writing a quantitative study on roller derby injuries. They were really enthusiastic and even expressed curiosity for the results. I'll be spending the summer designing the questionnaire which will then be sent out in the second half of september after approval from the professors. I'm so excited! I explained my ideas to both Euroderby.org and WFTDA and they agreed to help me spread the questionnaire. I've written to CWRDA in Canada but not heard back yet. Now I just need to create a list of australian leagues to send it too as well. I had a look around in Asia and Africa but roller derby doesn't seem to have exploded there in the same way as it has in North America, Europe and Australia. South America I haven't really checked yet. Will get to that next week.

Summer has finally hit Luleå and I just want to strap on my skates and get outside. But my physiotherapist wants me to get more strength back in my hip abductors (those you push off with when taking a stride) so that I'll be more stable. A few weeks ago I had no strength in them at all. Not just weak because they weren't trained, but weak because of nerve damage, half paralyzed. Also, one of my calves is very very stiff, so I can't really get into derby stance with that leg. There are more problems, but I think it's mostly those two that keep me from rolling at the moment. Core strength I have, just no endurance in those muscles at the moment. But I really think that both core endurance and the stiff calf would benefit from skating outdoors... long, easy strides. But then again, my physiotherapist is a really good one with years of experience and I haven't even finished my degree yet, so I trust her opinion more than my own.

Oh well... back to creating that email address database and searching for similar research so I have something to go on.

If you actually stuck through and read this entire post with no pics I commend you. ;) Just needed to vent some stuff and share it. Thank you for reading it all. :)