Going insane, need to babble...

So today it's been six weeks since they operated on my back which means that the damage done by the operation will have healed. That also means that I can start lifting and carrying things again. It's weird.. for some stupid reason I kind of expected this day to be a magical one. I expected to suddenly feel all healed and normal again, but of course I don't. Yesterday was a very bad day, but I think today will be back to the normal levels of handicappedness I have been at lately.

I have one more week off and then I actually have to do a full week of internship and my examination patient. Not sure how I'm gonna do that, but we'll see. I'll probably just work and sleep and work and sleep.

After 6 weeks at home not doing anything (well, handed in some school work and coached a few trainings) I am SO ready to lead a normal, active life again. Just wish my body was as ready as I am.

My professors approved my thesis ideas so I got the first go on writing a quantitative study on roller derby injuries. They were really enthusiastic and even expressed curiosity for the results. I'll be spending the summer designing the questionnaire which will then be sent out in the second half of september after approval from the professors. I'm so excited! I explained my ideas to both Euroderby.org and WFTDA and they agreed to help me spread the questionnaire. I've written to CWRDA in Canada but not heard back yet. Now I just need to create a list of australian leagues to send it too as well. I had a look around in Asia and Africa but roller derby doesn't seem to have exploded there in the same way as it has in North America, Europe and Australia. South America I haven't really checked yet. Will get to that next week.

Summer has finally hit Luleå and I just want to strap on my skates and get outside. But my physiotherapist wants me to get more strength back in my hip abductors (those you push off with when taking a stride) so that I'll be more stable. A few weeks ago I had no strength in them at all. Not just weak because they weren't trained, but weak because of nerve damage, half paralyzed. Also, one of my calves is very very stiff, so I can't really get into derby stance with that leg. There are more problems, but I think it's mostly those two that keep me from rolling at the moment. Core strength I have, just no endurance in those muscles at the moment. But I really think that both core endurance and the stiff calf would benefit from skating outdoors... long, easy strides. But then again, my physiotherapist is a really good one with years of experience and I haven't even finished my degree yet, so I trust her opinion more than my own.

Oh well... back to creating that email address database and searching for similar research so I have something to go on.

If you actually stuck through and read this entire post with no pics I commend you. ;) Just needed to vent some stuff and share it. Thank you for reading it all. :)